do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
