If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
