Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
