that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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