You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
This house was built for laser tag.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
