This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
