I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the day after is always just damage control
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
