BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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