I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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