Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
