hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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