I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
