Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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