at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
