I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize