you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
