I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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