There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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