Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am one with the molecules
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
