it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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