Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
