Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
