Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
where does the pee come out of this thing
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
