the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
