i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
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