You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
