Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
