I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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