I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
