She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
