oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
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