oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
