Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Randomize
