Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
