Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
