oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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