so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She even gives head with a lisp.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
