Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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