I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You are a genius and a whore.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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