if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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