help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
