So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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