Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
