i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
