Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize