i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
