you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
