How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
zippers are such a cool invention
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
