worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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