very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
