Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
