have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
