Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
