Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
