apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize