Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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