I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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