Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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