i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Why is there bacon in the couch?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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