Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
In other news, I just burned my penis
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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