you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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