he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize