Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
