We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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