You were right. It hurts to walk today.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
