Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
