this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
