Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I forgot how hot balto sounded
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
