Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
